Messy Spirituality

A recent common theme in some of my readings and conversations is the difficulty of living a spiritual life that is based on a theology of competence. In simple words, being Christian is hard if it's all about measuring up. It is easy to see where this kind of spirituality comes from. As children we are expected to measure up to our parent's expectations until the day when we are out on our own, supposedly independent or autonomous creatures. The trouble is, many of us never quite mature beyond that perceived need to measure up. But if Mom and Dad are no longer around in a routine way to "set the bar," then our yardstick is unreliable, fluctuating.

We may, instead, let other authority figures set the bar - a teacher, or an entire educational system; a boss, or a spouse, or . . . well, you get the picture. A spirituality based on competence - measuring up - becomes frustrating and even debilitating because the yardstick may fluctuate so much that we are never sure if we're hitting the mark. We may find ourselves constantly comparing our behavior to those around us, "Oh, I'm better than her, but not as good as him," and that continuous comparison is also a recipe for frustration and failure (incompetence).

Paul, the apostle, introduces us to a spirituality that is not about competence at all. He writes, "all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God." He describes our tendency to "miss the mark." Spirituality for Paul is about recognizing our own weaknesses but trusting that God loves us anyway, that God can even use our weakness to accomplish something that fits with God's good plans for creation. Paul even brags about his own failures, and boast of carrying around a treasure in a clay jar (easily cracked).

What I have found is that most of us are so captivated by a spirituality of competence that we can't believe that God could love us unless we have proven ourselves. But proving ourselves is a losing game. Even if we are the best at something - singing, mathematics, strength, prayer, sales, etc., someday we will hit our limit, our abilities will decline, there will always be someone who will bypass us in competency. We will all experience what it feels like to not measure up.

I remind myself often that before Jesus had told a parable or performed a miracle God spoke to him at his baptism and said, "You are my Son, whom I love, with you I am well pleased." In Christian spirituality there is no bar. All we're asked to do is to trust we are loved, and then to follow in the way of Jesus. A way in which we are assured there will be pain and sacrifice (don't forget the cross!). In a worldly sense, Jesus failed to measure up, so the world put him to death.

This kind of spirituality is messy. It is not based on competence but on grace. God bestows unmerited favor on us. And we in turn bestow unmerited favor on others. And the world, which doesn't trust a spirituality that is not based on competence will look on us with suspicion - "This can't be right," they say. "Aren't you supposed to do something?"

Well, of course. The doing is in the following in this way of the cross, which is messy, isn't it? I can't claim any competence in spiritual matters. I teach the importance of prayer but I'm not very competent at it. I preach a sacrificial life but I'm not the best role model by any means. I feel bad about that. Not filled with warm, fuzzy spiritual thoughts. But I love Jesus. And I love it that he loves me. And as incompetent as I am, I want to be like him. So I keep at it. It's messy. But I think that means its real.

Torn-to-pieces-hood

I’ve been reading a book on spirituality unlike many other books on the subject. This spirituality arises out of the real-life experiences of alcoholics and their discovery of a way to live a sober life through the vehicle of Alcoholics Anonymous (AA). There is a ring of truth in many of the authors’ insights, but the one I’ve been thinking about is the notion of “torn-to-pieces-hood,” William James translation of the German word, zerrissenheit.

There is a recognition by all who participate in AA that each and every one is “torn to pieces,” and that perhaps the best thing we have to offer each other is our own story of “torn-to-pieces-hood.” To translate that language through the filter of Christian theology I would say, “all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God.” But the words “sin,” and “God” carry so much baggage for some people, including Christians, that “torn-to-pieces-hood,” may be a good substitute which gets at the complexities of our human condition.

You don’t have to be an alcoholic to be torn to pieces. Maybe all of us have felt like Humpty-Dumpty, having “fallen short” and unable to put the pieces together again. The amazing thing is that there are those who have seen their lives fall apart either by their own choices or by external circumstances but have, seemingly miraculously, managed to get their lives back together again; scarred perhaps, but moving on. When we see their lives and hear their stories we experience something like hope, and develop something like faith – to believe that there might be enough grace in the world for our own torn-to-pieces-hood.

In a world where people tear each other to pieces, we all need a community where we hear stories of hope, and where we might discover a faith that will enable us to believe that a mended life, or an amended life, is possible. I think the church provides that opportunity for us. Even though many of us spend a lot of time in church pretending that everything in our lives is okay, there are opportunities within the life of the church to get beneath the façade; small groups of fellow spiritual pilgrims where pain may be bared, hospital visits where our mortality must be faced, worship experiences where the Word of God pierces to the heart.

I encourage you to find people with whom you can confess your own “torn-to-pieces-hood,” and to listen to stories of others who have, though scarred, managed to find their way. There is hope and grace enough for each one of us.

If interested in reading more on this subject, you may want to check out the following book by Ernest Kurtz and Katherine Ketcham, The Spirituality of Imperfection: Storytelling and the Search for Meaning.

Some of you may wonder how a preacher, schooled in the Wesleyan theology of “perfecting grace,” could recommend a book entitled, The Spirituality of Imperfection. However, I am always quick to point out that what John Wesley meant by perfection is not the same thing we mean. Wesley did not mean we would be free of mistakes or failures. He simply believed that God’s grace was so great that it might be possible for that grace to be present in a person’s life, at least in their intentions.

I admit that my recent reading of Kurtz and Ketcham has made me question Wesley’s optimism. Nevertheless, I remind myself that Wesley’s optimism was not the result of confidence in human potential, but rather hope in God’s grace. Thus, in our torn-to-pieces-hood, it is not we who put ourselves back together, but God. And God, or in AA-speak, our Higher Power, usually puts us back together through the loving imperfections of others and their stories of recovery.

I can live with that. Indeed, I have lived with that for many decades now. That’s enough for this torn-to-pieces-but-patched-up preacher.

Kill Them with Kindness

I read this somewhere once, “The surest way of defeating your enemies is by turning them into friends.” Sounds a little naïve, I know, but I like it. It reminds me of Jesus. I recall the apostle Paul also writing something about leaving vengeance to the Lord (Romans 12:20-21), “if your enemies are hungry, feed them; if they are thirsty, give them something to drink; for by doing this you will heap burning coals on their heads. Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.” Or, as my mother might have said, “kill them with kindness.”
I was reminded of all this in my Bible study last night, and I started imagining what would happen if we really did this. What if we actually showered our enemies with kindness instead of insults? What if we offered our opponents blessings instead of animosity? I am astounded at the possibilities.
What if members of the Tea Party movement invited President Obama to a banquet celebrating his tenure as the U.S. of A.’s first African-American president?
What if Israel actually stopped building settlements in Palestinian areas, and Palestinians returned the favor by helping to rebuild the temple in Jerusalem?
What if local PFLAG (Parents, Families and Friends of Gays and Lesbians) showed up to clean the bathrooms of local chapters of the KKK (Ku Klux Klan)?
What if members of Hispanic communities offered to baby sit the children of ICE workers?
What if we built ESL schools instead of fences along the Texas-Mexico border?
What if Reverend Terry Jones invited Muslims in his Florida community to a dinner to listen to why they love the Koran so much?
Crazy ideas, I know but, whenever I start imagining like this I start thinking that this is the kind of thing Jesus was doing. And of course, it drove the establishment in his day absolutely crazy, and that’s why they killed him. Amazing that such out-of-the-box ideas about how to live could get people so upset.
I don’t think I have quite the nerve to do some of the things I’ve just imagined just now. I am not Jesus, after all. But I wish I was more like him. Then I’d be through with all my enemies, because they would be my friends. Or else, they would kill me.
Hmmm, I guess that’s why we keep the walls up. That’s why we keep up the animosity. In a sick way, it’s kind of funny. We’re willing to kill and be killed to keep the walls up. But we’re not willing to die to tear them down, for Jesus’ sake.
I don’t want to end on such a despairing note. The truth is that there are people who are imagining the world and living life as Jesus did. Jim Fleming is a teacher who runs a school in Palestine in which he teaches children, often bringing Christians, Muslims and Jews together, to learn about the Biblical world. His example encourages me that there are ways to bring enemies together that they might recognize in each other the face of a friend. And I am encouraged to “kill my enemies with kindness,” like Jesus, and my Mother, would have me do.

It's NOT All About the Benjamins!

I’d like to think that it is love that makes the world go ‘round, but I suspect most people would opt for money, or the love of money. Whether you’ve got plenty of it, or little of it, money occupies a big chunk of your concern, doesn’t it? How am I going to keep what I’ve got? How am I going to earn more than I’ve got? How am I going to get by if I don’t have any? Money is at the center of our lives.

I’m doing a sermon series called, “Your Money or Your Life,” and I’m suggesting that many of us are living to make money, rather than making money in order to live. What a poor life-choice! When money is the driving force, all kinds of bad things happen, like oil catastrophes in the Gulf of Mexico, or toxic loans in the banking industry, and, well, developing ulcers . . .

I know it is complicated. Money is often the reason we are willing to hire an undocumented immigrant to pick our tomato crop because we can hire them more cheaply and thus compete with the industrial farms that are picking tomatoes with machines in order to cut down on costs so that we, consumers, who are positively driven to save a buck, can leave the store with tomatoes at sixty-nine cents a pound! Ahem. To quote Pogo, “We have met the enemy, and he is us.”

Money is the reason dolphins are slaughtered in secret coves on the coast of Taiji, Japan. Money is the reason pornographic websites continue to multiply. Money is the reason some of you reading this can’t sleep at night.

Jesus said, “You can’t love both God and mammon (Matthew 6:24).” Mammon is a word describing “worldly gain.” The early Christian movement is described as “The Way,” in the Book of Acts, and whenever The Way got “in the way” of someone’s livelihood (read Acts 19:23-41), Christians got persecuted. Christians are supposed to be more concerned about making a certain way of life, than they are about making money, although in recent history we tend to get a little confused about that. If we choose The Way, we may gain a little perspective on life and money and establish some more wholesome priorities. Still, if we choose The Way, people whose top priority IS money may get a little upset with us.

I realize times are hard for about 10 – 15 % of the U.S. population. I don’t offer these thoughts to deepen anyone’s anxiety. If anything I am inviting us to try a different perspective, so that whether we have a lot of wealth or none, God and not mammon becomes our main concern. And Jesus says the result is refreshing to our spirits (Matthew 6:25-34):

‘Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air; they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And can any of you by worrying add a single hour to your span of life? And why do you worry about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow; they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not clothed like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which is alive today and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? Therefore do not worry, saying, “What will we eat?” or “What will we drink?” or “What will we wear?” For it is the Gentiles who strive for all these things; and indeed your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. But strive first for the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.
‘So do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring worries of its own. Today’s trouble is enough for today.

Only God Knows the Truth

“What is truth?” That is the question. Long after Pontius Pilate asked that question of a wandering rabbi from Nazareth, the answer still evades us. The writer of the Gospel of John tells us that Jesus is the Way, the Truth, and the Life. We capitalize those words because we, Christians at least, believe that Jesus provides us with a Truth that is somehow ultimate.

But sadly, even Christians disagree on Pilate’s question, “What is truth?” How else do we explain the existence of various denominations except that we have defined our “truths” differently? The religious soil of the U.S. has proven amazingly fertile in the propagation of diverse spiritual experiences, expressions and faith communities. But proclaiming one Truth to unite us all has been incredibly difficult. The non-believing world holds Christians at a distance in part because we can’t get our “truths” together. And well did Jesus foresee this problem when he prayed for the disciples that they might be “one that the world would believe (John 17:20-23).” Until we get at the capital “T,” Truth, the world is still going to have problems with us Christians.

Not only is the definition of Truth a problem for world evangelization, but it is also a problem in human relationships. On the mega-scale, we have Glenn Beck rallying in Washington declaring a revival of the meaning of civil rights. On the same day in the same city we have the Rev. Al Sharpton defining civil rights very differently. Both men claim the name of Jesus as Savior. But who speaks the Truth?

I suspect only God knows, and I am guessing that absolute Truth may be something we will have to wait on. As Paul writes in 1 Corinthians 13, “Now we see in a mirror dimly, then we shall see face to face. Now I understand in part, then I shall fully understand, even as I have been fully understood.” The key phrase there is, “as I have been fully understood.” God knows what’s True, even when our perception of Truth is distorted.

So, there is great comfort for me when I sing the old spiritual, “In the midst of faults and failures, stand by me . . .When I’ve done the best I can, and my friends misunderstand. Thou who knowest all about me, stand by me.” After all, there is my truth, and there is your truth, and if we disagree, what are we to do? To quote another soulful song, “There ain’t no good guy, there ain’t no bad guy. There’s only you and me and we just disagree.”

God knows our hearts. We have our own perceptions, and sometimes we are fooling nobody but ourselves. Only God knows the Big Truth of the human condition, and only God knows what is really true about us. When we are so sure we are right, that’s the first warning sign that we could stand some humility.

We can only make it in this world with a lot of empathy and forgiveness and humility as we await the day when “we shall fully understand as we have been fully understood.” Meanwhile, we can try to be a little less arrogant and a little more merciful, and that’s the Truth we can live with.

Dr. Laura's Gaffe

First a disclaimer, I never listen to Dr. Laura's radio show. Whenever I have scanned over it in the past I have never lingered. I am no fan. Nor am I a fan of political correctness (PC). I defend a person's right to speak the truth, without the verbal gymnastics that our current PC climate seems to necessitate.

Still, I believe one can speak the truth with sensitivity. One can speak the truth with respect for others. One can speak the "truth in love," to be Biblical (Ephesians 4:15). The context of that passage of scripture might help Dr. Laura, and the rest of us, to use our right of free speech with greater grace.

The writer is urging us toward spiritual maturity, to aim toward the "stature of Christ," so that we may "grow up in every way into him who is the head." So, as Americans, we may feel like we have the right to say whatever is on our mind, but even that right is subject to limitations. One can't yell "fire" in a crowded movie theater unless, of course, there really is a fire. Several kinds of "hate speech," are against the law in this country. So, to paraphrase a popular modern slogan, "Freedom (of speech) is not free." Speaking the "n" word has consequences.

Then, how does Christian faith empower, or limit, the kind of speech we use? How does our imperative to love one another affect the way we speak the truth? I would argue that our speech becomes both more critical, in the prophetic sense of the word, but also more gracious. More critical because we are compelled by our righteous God to identify the "powers and principalities," and to demand justice and integrity in all of society. More gracious because we are a people aware of our own shortcomings (read as "sin"), and thus demonstrating empathy for others.

So, what would I say to Dr. Laura, not that she'll ever read this blog which has a following of less than a handful of readers? I would probably say, "Conduct yourself wisely toward outsiders, making the most of the time. Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer everyone (Colossians 4:5-6)."

One last thing - the other night Dr. Laura was interviewed by Larry King. She said she is closing her radio show so she can say what she wants "without people getting angry." Good luck with that one. The Dixie Chicks have already learned that free speech carries consequences, including anger, loss of popularity and income. And as a preacher who speaks semi-publicly every Sunday, I have learned that almost any kind of speech, even what seems most benign, will make someone angry. And if you're telling the truth, especially The Truth, the powers and principalities might even crucify you.

Blurring the Line between Sacred and Secular

A recent interview with Stephen Mansfield, popular author who has written books about the faith of both Presidents George Bush and Barack Obama, delves into the subject of his latest book, "God and Guinness," in which he explores the life of the Guinness family, whose fortune was made in brewing beer, and their attempts to integrate their faith with the way they lived their lives and ran their business, particularly as Christians within the Wesleyan tradition.

Mansfield says of Arthur Guinness, that he "was unusual in that he absorbed [John]Wesley’s social teaching very deeply and lived it out more radically than most. He took care of the poor, started hospitals and ran his company in a way that was radical -- paying 20 percent more for salaries than most other people and providing benefits to his employees that would challenge the accomplishments of Microsoft and Google today."

Those who wonder about the congruence of Christian principles and brewing beer need to understand the historical context. In the 1600's, clean water was unattainable. The options were between water which could make one sick, or wine or hard liquor. Home-brewed gin was a scourge. Alcoholism was rampant, as were water-borne illnesses. By contrast, "beer was healthy. It had a variety of B-complex vitamins. It was lower in alcohol content than the other drinks. It was more nutritious in every way. To answer this scourge of alcoholism, social reformers began to brew and encourage drinking beer. By the time Arthur Guinness came along, the brewing of beer was seen as a positive factor in society."

The Guinness company has continued the tradition of public service, instituting programs contributing to the public health of Dublin, Ireland. They have eschewed the modern corporate mantra of "profit at all costs," continuing to be a model for the equitable treatment of workers and being a good corporate citizen.

As a life-long teetotaler, I am nevertheless inspired by the example of Arthur Guinness and his ability to merge faith and life. May we all strive to do the same, that we might blur the lines, in a good way, between what is sacred and what is secular.