Private Behavior versus Public Persona

Too much tea at the Thai restaurant tonight is keeping me up. Didn’t realize green tea had that much caffeine. Anyway, my wakefulness gives me a chance to write about another topic on my mind recently and that is ---

Private behavior versus public persona.

Who is the real me – or you? Is it the person most people deal with in the workplace, the public arena, the local market? Or is it the person you are at home when the doors are closed and it’s just you and your family?

There is a degree of difference between our private and public roles. I am, for instance, a natural introvert preferring lots of solitude and alone time. Yet, in my role as pastor I am daily interacting with people in a very intentional and deliberate way. After years of practice I feel almost natural in my public role, so natural that most people in my congregation would assume I am an extrovert. But I admit that I am more comfortable in what I call my down time. I enjoy coming home and being alone.

I know a police officer who plays his public role very seriously. When he is in uniform you know he means business. But when he is not wearing his badge he sheds that serious role as well. He seems more relaxed and at ease – a distinct difference.

But there is another dimension to this topic that arises out of my recent interest in the biblical concept of righteousness. Righteousness is a complex biblical category implying both a gift of God as well as the result of human ethical behavior. For my purposes in this blog I am focusing on righteousness as a behavioral issue.

Sometimes the differences between public persona and private behavior have less to do with the roles we play than the character we have. For instance, what happens if I am a closet drunk – drinking privately at home, but keeping sober whenever I am in public? What if I am a gentle and patient man in the workplace, but an abusive husband or father at home? What if I am a community leader, a role model to young people, a Sunday School teacher in my church, but at the same time I am secretly stealing money from the company for which I work?

These differences between public persona and private behavior have more to do with our character than with the roles we play and as a result lead to more serious consequences. In these cases we are pretending to be other than what we are and I believe that pretense leads to both psychic and spiritual problems. For true well-being and spiritual maturity our public persona and private behavior should be as congruent as possible. As someone once said, “Character is revealed in what you do when no one is watching.”

Thus, if your private behavior seems a far cry from righteousness, then I would argue that confession and repentance are in order. From years of pastoral experience I am convinced that a disparity between public persona and private behavior takes a toll on a person. One’s personality takes a beating from keeping up the façade of respectability. There is no quick fix, but confession and repentance, followed by counseling and spiritual direction from trusted providers are tried and true methods for achieving wholeness and perhaps even holiness, i.e., righteousness.

We all have various roles that we play. But when our character is in question we have gone beyond role-playing to pretending, and pretense is just another word for hypocrisy. Jesus had little patience for hypocrites. Still, there is hope for all of us. I recall the words of Paul in Chapter 7 of Romans as he struggles to understand why he cannot seem to do the good that he wants to do, when the evil he does not what is what he does. As he is at the point of throwing up his hands in despair, he remembers that righteousness is not the result of his behavior only, but is also the gift of God. “Who will deliver me from this body of death?” He asks. “Thanks be to God through our Lord Jesus Christ!” He responds.

For those who struggle to make your public persona and private behavior one and the same, may you find the gift of righteousness offered by God through the Lord Jesus Christ, and may you build your life on it.

Terrors and Great Signs

“Then Jesus said to them, ‘Nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom; there will be great earthquakes, and in various places famines and pestilences; and there will be terrors and great signs from heaven.’” (Luke 21:8-11)

Is it any wonder that many a radio gospel preacher is proclaiming the end of the world and Jesus’ second coming in light of recent events? The apocalyptic sermon of Jesus, a version of which is found in the first three Gospels, hints at cataclysmic events as a signal to prepare his followers for the end of the age.

With earthquakes, tsunamis, and the possible pestilence of radiation poisoning, the happenings in Japan seem to be of biblical proportions. Add to that the upheaval of nations in the Middle East and North Africa and it makes one wonder about what God might be doing in the midst of all this.

I am grieved for people who are suffering as a result of these cataclysmic events. I am disturbed by the horror of what many people are facing in the challenge of rebuilding their lives. My distress, however, is not of “biblical proportions.” I tend to be rather calm in the midst of end-of-the-world proclamations by self-described prophets.

I suppose that’s because I’ve read the whole sermon of Jesus in those Gospel accounts. He begins by saying, “Many will come in my name saying, . . . ‘The time is at hand!’ Do not go after them.”

He also says, “When you hear of wars and tumults, do not be terrified.”

And again, “Now when these things begin to take place, look up and raise your heads, because your redemption is drawing near.”

Maybe I am being naïve but it strikes me that Jesus is telling us we have nothing to worry about. So nations are toppled and new ones arise. Despots are dethroned and new ones take their place. Hurricanes rage and floods destroy. Economies move from depression to inflation to recession. Persecutions come and go. None of this changes the plan of God to redeem the world.

Do we, individually, get lost in the chaos? One might believe so were it not for other promises, “I will never leave you nor forsake you . . .,” or “Are not five sparrows sold for two pennies? Yet not one of them is forgotten in God’s sight. But even the hairs of your head are counted. Do not be afraid; you are of more value than many sparrows.”

When you see the calamitous things that are going on in the world today, do not be afraid. Lift up your heads. Your redemption is drawing near.

What that means to me is that God is at work in the midst of the calamity and will make a way that leads to abundant life. There will be rescue, salvation, comfort, renewal – and hope.

Why Do We Care about Charlie Sheen?

A friend came back from New Zealand recently, sobered by the proximity of the earthquake that shook Christchurch only a few days after visiting there. Even more disconcerting was the fact that upon returning to the U.S., the news of the earthquake and its aftermath had been relegated to the fringes of journalistic reporting, overshadowed by the ravings of actor Charlie Sheen.

We now surmise, based on a parade of experts, that Charlie Sheen is not simply another self-absorbed Hollywood star, but must be suffering from some kind of mental illness characterized by manic episodes. The greater question for me is, “Why do we care about Charlie Sheen?

Maybe we have become inured to the news of earthquakes and human suffering. As we see devastation in Haiti or New Zealand, and we hear about hundreds of deaths, we eventually become numb to the particularities of such events. Maybe we lose interest because it doesn’t feel personal.

But Charlie Sheen – there is a face we recognize. This feels personal. Outlandish. Maybe crazy. But personal. And Charlie is famous and rich. Do we secretly enjoy when the stars fall from the sky? “How the mighty have fallen . . . (2 Samuel 1:27).” Perhaps we are making comparisons – “I’m not rich or famous, but at least I’m not crazy!” And in some sad way, Charlie Sheen’s problems make us feel better about ourselves.

I don’t know. I suppose I should care about Charlie Sheen but I don’t. Oh, in some sort of vague way, I want him to be well and I offer this as a prayer, but I am much more concerned with the mental health of people I know to spend too much time thinking about Mr. Sheen, whom I don’t know. Charlie is a part of the cult of personality with which our culture is obsessed, but I would argue that the cult of personality is not the same thing as being personal. We may know his face, but that is a far cry from knowing him personally.

One of my favorite lines from a song is from the eccentric quasi-zydeco band, Donna the Buffalo, “What does all this Hollywood really have to do with us?” For me it is another way of saying, “C’mon people, get a life!”

Where am I going with all this? Well, I’m not sure we can do a whole lot for Charlie Sheen or for the people of New Zealand, but for all the time we spend watching the news about people we’ll never know, we could surely address the needs of people closer by that we do know. I have a friend who, with his wife, decided to get rid of their TV about two years ago. He says they’ve never been happier in their marriage as a result. They have found time to do things together and to care for one another more deeply. Now, that sounds promising.

Paying attention to people we actually know can spill over from our marriage to our family – perhaps spending more time actually playing with our children rather than plugging them into another DVD filled with talking vegetables and dinosaurs. Perhaps with the extra time, we might visit a lonely elderly member of our neighborhood, or tutor a child in the local school. We might even have enough energy (TV makes us lethargic) to hammer nails in a Habitat House or prepare meals at a soup kitchen. After a while we might even forget who Charlie Sheen is, and well, maybe if he didn’t get so much media attention, he might actually have a chance to get better – reclaim a normal life – maybe.

I’ve often pondered the fact that Jesus never wandered beyond the borders of Judah and Galilee (except for a brief sojourn in Egypt as a baby). He didn’t go to Rome. He was rooted in his locale – Nazareth, Galilee, Jerusalem. Did he get news from the greater world? Did he wonder about the lives of the rich and famous in the Mediterranean world? Who knows? We do know he was infinitely interested in each individual he met. He was personal, and seldom distracted by the cult of personality in his own day.

His few references to a famous people seemed to diminish their significance (“Render to Caesar the things that are Caesar’s, but to God the things that are God’s,” or, regarding King Herod, called him a “fox”). But the people he encountered during his ministry were anything but diminished – the prostitute, the beggar, the blind, the lame, the demon-possessed, the tax collectors, even the Pharisees, I believe, he approached with deep concern for their well-being – body and soul.

If I ruled the world I would unplug most of our electronics and encourage people to spend more time with each other. We could still read the news about the wider world in the Sunday paper, but the most important news would be picked up at the general store, local coffee shop, styling salon, or in Sunday School class. That would be the news about the people we know close by, the people God has given us to love, person-to-person. And I believe someone close by to Charlie Sheen might give him the attention he needs, minus all the cameras in his face. I think that’s the way Jesus would do it.

Credit Where Credit Is Due

We all want to be somebody – to be recognized in our field, whatever it may be. We want to be important, to be acknowledged. We want to be worth something. Nothing wrong with that, I suppose. We want people to notice us. I suppose that’s why some children get in trouble at school. Because they are neglected at home they may often do whatever it takes to get noticed in the classroom, even if for misbehavior. If we feel overlooked, we may claim more for our selves than is actually true. We may brag and boast. We are simply looking for credit where credit is due.

The word credit is related to the word credential. You have to have credentials these days in order to get recognition, in order to get a job, in order to be promoted. We may even pad the resume to make it look a little better than it is. It’s amazing how often some academic, or civil employee, is discovered to have embellished his or her curriculum vita. They are only looking for credit.

On the other hand, I am reminded of an old saying, “You can get a lot done if you don’t mind who gets the credit.” Makes me think that self-promotion gets in the way of actual accomplishment.

In the letters of Paul to the churches of the New Testament era, he often was placed in the position of defending his right to teach. His credentials were called into question on more than one occasion. In a kind of parody of resume embellishment, Paul launches into long list of his credentials:

“It’s crazy to talk this way,” he writes, “but I started and I’m going to finish. I’ve worked much harder, been jailed more often, beaten up more times than I can count, and at death’s door time after time. I’ve been flogged five times with the Jews’ thirty-nine lashes, beaten by Roman rods three times, pummeled with rocks once. I’ve been shipwrecked three times, and immersed in the open sea for a night and a day. In hard traveling year in and year out, I’ve had to ford rivers, fend off robbers, struggle with friends, struggle with foes. I’ve been at risk in the city, at risk in the country, endangered by desert sun and sea storm, and betrayed by those I thought were my brothers. I’ve known drudgery and hard labor, many a long and lonely night without sleep, many a missed meal, blasted by the cold, naked to the weather. . . If I have to ‘brag’ about myself, I’ll brag about the humiliations that make me like Jesus (2 Cor. 11:23-33, The Message, Eugene Peterson).”

Paul’s list of credentials sounds strange to the modern ear. If we are thinking that a resume is a list of our skills, education and accomplishments, then we are caught off guard by Paul’s litany of sufferings and hardships. Paul’s curriculum vita makes a mockery of self-promotion. “If I must boast,” he writes, “let me boast in the Lord (1 Cor. 1:31)

I remember a woman in one of my former churches who used to joke about all the chickens she had cooked for church suppers. She figured she’d have stars in her heavenly crown for every one of those chickens. Maybe she will, but those crowns are all going to be cast at the feet of the Lamb on the throne, so the vision of Revelation tells us (Rev. 4:10). Perhaps the old saying takes on a different tone for the one who follows Jesus – “You can get a lot done, if you don’t mind that Jesus gets the credit.”

Jesus and Judgment

I try to write this blog so that people who aren’t Christians might be drawn in to the Jesus Way. Sometimes I suspect we Christians are the obstacle between nonbelievers and the Christ we proclaim. Our internal arguments, too frequent hypocrisy, and judgmental attitudes are stumbling blocks. One example: a friend was recounting her high school days and the “hell list” that some self-righteous teenagers were keeping of those they had already consigned to eternal damnation. Needless to say, after being placed on “the list,” fifty or sixty young people were not too receptive to the whole Jesus thing.

One of the biggest stumbling blocks has to be the Church’s tendency to judge and condemn others. While we have a responsibility to engage in moral behavior, we often slip into moralism, which is a different thing altogether. The Supreme Court ruled this past week that a small congregation in Kansas has the right of free speech to assemble at funerals and proclaim judgments on the deceased. I cringe at the way this small group has given the Jesus I know such a black eye.

Jesus’ told a parable that helps with this situation. It is simple and to the point.

“Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in someone else’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?” (Matthew 7:3)

One cannot go through life without making judgments – how else can we make decisions? The guidance of Jesus on this matter, however, has to do with judging ourselves and not judging others. Where we fall into difficulty is in the area of making comparisons between our actions and the actions of others. Instead of observing “our” morals, we fall into the trap of judging “their” morals. Keeping our morals true is a worthy goal. Keeping others true to our standards lapses into moralism, the very thing Jesus warns us against.

Once we start judging others, it becomes a vicious circle lacking in the quality of mercy that Jesus held so dear. I don’t drink alcohol. Should I be moralistic toward those who do? You drive an American car. Should you be judgmental of those who drive a foreign make? A colleague has had an abortion. Your friends are living together without being married. You know your cousin in the military is gay. The obese customer beside you at the fast food restaurant is ordering a super-size meal. You see a car’s bumper sticker that says, “Wage Peace,” parked beside another that proclaims, “Bomb them all and let God sort them out.”

What kinds of judgments are running through our minds when we imagine each of these scenes? Are we making our own “hell list?” Who do we put on it? Would someone put us on their list? Do you see the problem with judgment?

As I look at Jesus’ parables and ethical teachings I am struck by one thing – the only comparison I am free to make is not between my self and others but between me and God, and I continually fall short of that standard. I am in a position to judge no one but myself.

I love Eugene Peterson’s paraphrase of Paul in Romans 8:34, “Who would dare even point a finger? The One who died for us – who was raised to life for us! – is in the presence of God at this very moment sticking up for us.” Paul is talking about Jesus here, of course.

Gandhi, I believe, is reported to have said that he would have himself become a Christian except for the witness of the Christians he knew. Ouch! I’ll just close with this: Don’t judge Jesus by the behavior of Christians. If Christians turn you off because of their moralistic attitudes, just remember they’re not modeling themselves after Jesus. They can’t help it. They're just sinners like everyone else. Try not to judge them (us) too harshly.