What Would Mr. Rogers Do?

“Idiot.”

While riding my bicycle recently, a pickup truck passed by and the driver very clearly articulated his opinion of me through his open window.  I didn’t and couldn’t argue that a cyclist has as much right to be on the road as a driver.  I have learned that one can’t argue with three tons of sheet metal from the saddle of an eighteen pound carbon bicycle.  Giving the driver the benefit of the doubt, I suspect he is not a hateful person but simply gave in to a stereotypical response of frustration at how cyclists temporarily hamper vehicle traffic.  

I didn’t take his jibe personally, but it did set me to musing on the ways I have spoken the same word, “idiot,” to refer to certain politicians, or other newsworthy persons, who seem to have acted rashly, unthinkingly or, to put it bluntly, stupidly.  I have found myself in recent years using the “i” word more frequently than I remember in the past.  Are there more ignorant people about these days, or have I become less tolerant and charitable?

All this musing on idiocy has included thoughts on Fred Rogers, of children’s TV, who I believe is one of the greatest individuals in modern history.  While I never watched Mr. Rogers in childhood, and I discounted him as boring while my own children were growing up, I have since paid more attention to who he was and what he sought to accomplish.  I have come to love and respect him, and have sought to emulate him in my own actions, particularly the way in which he gave unfeigned attention to each individual with whom he came into contact.  He demonstrated a depth of empathy that is rare in human relationships.  And while it was popular for a while for Christians to ask, “What would Jesus do?”  I have found myself asking, “What would Mr. Rogers do?”

I suspect he would not call anyone an idiot.  He would understand the childhood trauma, or neglect, that leads to gaps in personal growth.  He would comprehend that bad behavior is often the result of a failure in the nurture of an individual.  My insight into this gracious approach to persons came many years ago in relation to a member of my church who seemed to take a special interest in making my life hell.  He criticized my sermons, my decisions, my vision for the church.  I hated to see him coming into my office because I knew I would have to deal with another gripe session.  He struck me as an angry, hateful man.  In the course of my pastoral work in that church, I eventually learned that his son had died while only in his 20’s, and I began to believe that this father’s anger was directed at God, and not at me.  I began to pray for him, and to see him, not as someone possessed by some demonic force, but stricken with grief and pain.  From that insight forward, I was no longer plagued by my encounters with him. I was able to love him and be a pastor to him, even though his behavior toward me never changed.  I never liked him.  But I could love him.

I have tried this approach with those who I have a tendency to label as idiots.  To try to empathize with the ignorant is not for the faint of heart.  Nor is it easily done.  I lapse.  I try to picture the bully politician as a child who was not well-loved.  I ask, “What would Mr. Rogers do?”  Here I am, sixty-three years old, and I’m still trying to be a decent human being.