When I was
a boy I was held to what I thought was a rigid standard in the use of
grammar. Verb tenses had to match
subjects. Sentences did not end in prepositions. Participles were not intended to dangle. And “ain’t” wasn’t a word. While my mother sometimes seemed overly finicky
about verbiage, I learned from her that what one says matters. Words carry weight. “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but
words [can and do] harm me.”
A story: a mother was trying to
teach her son about the lasting impression of words. Her son had developed the terrible habit of
name calling, using words to spite everyone toward whom he felt anger. In order to disabuse him of his habit, she
reprimanded him by having him hammer a nail into a fence post for every unkind
word spoken. After some time had passed
the fence post became a porcupine of nails, with barely an open spot for a new
one. But as the fence post became crowded,
his mother came up with a new tactic.
She began to take note of any kind or thoughtful word her son spoke, and
as he did, she instructed him to go and pull out a nail from the post. Gradually, as the lesson began to sink in,
the fence post lost its metallic mane until it was once again bare. And when that moment came she accompanied her
son to the post and pointed out the nail holes that had been left behind. “Just so,” she said, “the harsh words you
have spoken may be gone, but the scars they created remain.”
The words we say matter. They build up or they tear down. They edify or they profane. The Bible gives a couple of admonitions in
this regard ---
“Therefore encourage one another
and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.” 1 Thessalonians 5:11
On
the other hand . . .
“If, however, you bite and devour
one another, take care that you are not consumed by one another.” Galatians 5:15
In his book, Civility: Morals, Manners, and the Etiquette of
Democracy, Stephen L. Carter makes the case that civility is a kind of
social contract, an agreement to make sacrifices in order to live together. We agree to obey the speed limit in order to
travel safely. We agree to stand in line
for our turn at the arena ticket window.
We allow certain invasions of individual privacy in order to provide
greater security for all. And among
these agreements, Carter would argue that civil discourse is a sacrifice we
make for the greater good.
This is the point that critics of
political correctness have missed.
Politically correct verbiage came into being in order to be respectful
of others, to be kind, to be thoughtful, to give people the benefit of the
doubt – in other words, to “encourage one another and build each other up.” To put it simply, politically correct
language can more reasonably be compared to “polite conversation” – a kind of
sacrifice that we make in order to live together, and I would add, to live
together peaceably.
Opponents of political correctness
have been having their day, or decade, lately, as it seems they feel permitted
to say whatever they want to, no matter who it hurts. Instead of arriving at openness in dialogue,
such conversation only drives a wedge between people. Instead of the simple truth, we end up with
conflicted opinions and opposing sides.
Instead of collaboration, we end up on either side of the aisle in Congress
with few venturing to extend a hand to the other. It seems to me that critics of political
correctness have simply given permission for all of us to be rude and hateful
to each other. And I would add the
scriptural caution, that if we bite and devour one another, we may be consumed
by one another.
So, I am unapologetic about being
politically correct. I believe such
polite conversation leads to greater civility in society. And for my part, it makes me feel like I’m
following Jesus more closely when I encourage others, and try to build others
up. We can still speak the truth, but we
do so in love (Ephesians 4:15). And we
might avoid all making all those holes in the fence post.
